The Six Stages Of Celebrating St Patrick’s Day In Malta

St. Patrick’s Day in Malta is not just a celebration, it is a journey. A chaotic, slightly messy, very green journey that almost everyone experiences in the same way, whether planned or not.

1. “We’re Only Going for 2 Beers”
It always starts innocently. You tell yourself and everyone else it will be chilled. Just two beers, maybe three. Fast forward a couple of hours and somehow you are on your tenth pint, holding it like it was part of the plan.

2. The Never Ending “Ara Min Hawn!”
Suddenly, St. Julian’s becomes a reunion. You bump into people you have not seen in years, school friends, old colleagues, random acquaintances. Every few minutes is another “what are the odds?” moment, followed by a drink you did not need.

3. Losing Your Friends
Early on, your group disappears. Messages fail, calls do not go through, and you are navigating the chaos alone, promising to find them later, which never happens.

4. The Toilet Queue That Becomes Your Personality
Soon, queuing for the toilet takes more time than enjoying the night. The line is endless and you start talking to strangers as if you have known them for years.

5. “How Did I End Up in Paceville?”
A brief moment of clarity comes when you realise you have no idea how you got there. One minute you are in Spinola, the next you are deep in Paceville, fully committed to the chaos.

6. The McDonald’s Ending
No St. Patrick’s Day is complete without the final stop. McDonald’s becomes the unofficial closing ceremony, less about hunger and more about survival before calling it a night.

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