While the rest of the world may see gridlock as a hindrance, we Maltese drivers have transformed it into an art form—a canvas for creativity and a stage for the extraordinary. In this tongue-in-cheek guide, we unveil the secrets of turning your car into a realm of endless possibilities. From honking symphonies that would make Beethoven jealous to catching up on your weekly entertainment binge, buckle up as we navigate the uncharted territory of Malta’s traffic with flair and a healthy dose of humour.
Conduct a Symphony of Horns: Start with a solo performance, honking along to your favourite tunes. Gradually escalate to a full orchestra by coordinating horn honks with fellow trapped motorists. Bonus points if you can create a traffic jam masterpiece worthy of a standing ovation. Who says traffic can’t be a musical adventure?
RUBS Review Rampage: Become the undisputed maestro of Maltese culinary critique! Start by crafting a succinct review of your last meal. Gradually escalate to full-fledged foodie dissertations, exploring the nuances of every ingredient and the delicate dance of flavors. By the time you escape the clutches of traffic, you’ll have a reputation as the Gordon Ramsay of the local “RUBS” Facebook page.
Host an In-Car Carnival: Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Turn your car into a mobile carnival. Begin with a modest ring toss using your rearview mirror and progress to a full-blown roller coaster experience (read: navigating speed bumps at varying speeds). Prizes for participation include a sense of accomplishment and a slightly elevated heart rate.
Earn Your Virtual Degree: Start by learning a new word every traffic jam (today’s word: “floccinaucinihilipilification”). Gradually progress to acquiring a PhD in Astrophysics, because why not? By the time you escape the traffic, you’ll not only have moved forward three spaces on the game board but also be a certified expert in celestial matters.
Netflix and Gridlock: Embark on an epic binge-watching adventure without ever leaving your driver’s seat. Begin with a modest episode or two of “Stranger Things.” As the traffic inches forward, escalate to an entire season—or better yet, binge-watch multiple series. By the time you escape the bottleneck, you’ll not only be a traffic aficionado but a pop culture expert too.
What do you do to pass the time in traffic?