“Boys will be Boys”

…or so people are told from the moment they are born until the moment they start believing it. Why does society push the idea that toxic behaviours are excusable for young men, and that these exact behaviours go on to define the very essence of their masculinity as they move into adulthood?

Under a patriarchal system, men are convinced of the fact that there are rules to being a “real man”, which they must follow in order to live up to the toxic ideal. A “real man” never cries, nor does he exude anything but strength and leadership at all times. All the while, young boys are consistently told that showing emotion is weak, and being in touch with their sensitivity and vulnerability is something undesirable – and is only for women.

The problems with these teachings are vast, not only do they raise generations of emotionally repressed men who do not know how to process complex emotions, but they also teach them to view “feminine” traits as signs of weakness and being lesser than – which is not at all conducive for maintaining healthy relationships throughout their lives. Imagine the difference it would make to a man’s life, to be able to relinquish the toxic shackles placed upon him from a young age, and allow himself to have a good cry?

It is quite common to hear feminism described as “man-hating” or a conspiratorial movement put forward in order to harm or ridicule men, when the reality is very different. Toxic patriarchal values hurt everyone – and toxic masculinity is a prominent offender.

Boys will always be that which people teach them to be from a young age.

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